Last time on Dragonball Z
This is the final part of what fictional critics are calling a modern day classic, an instant hit, future best seller and absolute load of nonsense. Psychiatrists are calling a sure sign of insanity and my job hunting helper is calling defiantly not looking for a job. I'll actually keep it short this time.
Mark and Jessica stand outside the hospital sharing a cigarette watching as the sun started to shrink behind the buildings, it'd been hours since they'd found the Poison victims on ward 5. After some initial testing between Mark and Jesus they came to the conclusion that the sick had been poisoned by radiation all the pieces were coming together in Marks head as Jesus worked on curing the people back inside, it seemed likely that someone had poisoned the Mayors water supply, the dose must have been smaller than the killer thought it was, why else bother shooting Mayor Casdres, she would be in a bed sick just like the eight people behind these doors if only they'd waited long enough. Even though he had a good idea of how the murder had happened now, there was still the rather big problem of who.
Just then Jesus pushed his way out of the hospital's front doors motioning to Mark to pass him a cigarette even as he did, as he lit his smoke he began to talk, "Well, for what it's worth they'll be fine I managed to use my 'healing touch' to reverse damage done by the radiation and the IV the resident doctors have put them on should fix out any fatigue issues.", "Any of them have anything useful to say? I mean, I think we all know what happened here now, but still, no leads on who" Mark asked, "No, none of them knows a thing, I've got a plan however" Jesus replied before taking another drag.
The plan was simple, tried and tested but the trio had a feeling it would work well enough considering the murderers actions up till now. They had split up as night fell, each deciding to explore a bar for a few hours before it got too late, and as they each sat in at their respective bars their plan started to come into action. As people got used to them they'd come over and ask questions about how the Mayors now ex-staff were doing the three would answer politely, saying that they would all recover and once they recovered one of them had something important to say regarding the killer. This was all they needed to do, it was almost Scooby Doo simple as a plan. They retired back to the hospital and waited.
It happened exactly as expected, late at night there was a noise across the ward, someone moving about in the dark, Jessica hit the lights, illuminating the room, the recovering patients and - the killer. "Games up, you're caught" the hooded figure raised his hands and dropped his concealed knife as he turned to face Jessica, "I guess, the old traps work the best eh? I should watch more day time TV all things considered" the man snickered to himself as Jesus and Mark Sloan came through the door to join them. Dr. Jesus spoke "There's no getting away how about you take off that hood and show us your face", the killer moved his hands up too his hood and began sliding it off as he began to explain "You see, my livelihood depends on the failed youth, when I heard that young Fiona had accomplished so much at a young age, I knew I had to act before the news spread to my audience" His face and story fully exposed, it all made sense Mayor Fiona Casdres was murdered and her staff poisoned by Jeremy Kyle, he lost his mind when he heard of a young woman who wasn't doing drugs sleeping around while been a bad mother and possible alcoholic, he knew that if this news ever got to his audience he'd be ruined, his empire built on the life's of badly raised children would crumble. So he traveled to Whgut and poisoned the water cooler in the Mayors office, gaining entry under the guise of a 'feel-good' story. He was inexperienced and it would be his undoing, after a couple of days it didn't seem as though the poison was taking affect, so he went to plan B, the rifle.
Kyle was arrested and executed by order of the new Mayor of Whgut, the ex hairdresser that shared the old Mayors ideals. Back aboard Doctor Jesus' aeroplane the trio shared a congratulatory shot of bourbon, Jesus looked across to Jessica with a smile and said "So, what do you think, not a bad short story?" Jessica returned the smile and replied "that would make a terrible story, I could probably jazz it up a bit though".
The End. (And, never-a-fracking-gain).