Tuesday, 24 February 2009

New from JML

The Jar bra, originally developed as a way of distracting groping the Jar bra's bee filled jars will increase your cup size by at least one jar and helping you keep the much desired jar chest shape along with the always beneficial presence of bee's acting as a natural perfume.

But wait, there's more! from the people who brought you the Jar bra, go out in style with the brand new, Hammer Heels, these stylish heel's were constructed using only the finest claw hammers and deadest cow skin, leaving you with the comfort that only wearing hammers can bring.

Give me Hot Water

I'm not sure whats wrong but my boiler just refuses to make hot water its annoying, I had to have a bath using water from a kettle.

Also you can click for slightly bigger on that, I was feeling slightly generous.

Monday, 23 February 2009

Air Wick: the story continues

That title is somewhat misleading as it doesn't for now at least, I got an email back from someone at Air Wick telling me off for not contacting the right department (I did look for the marketing people when I sent the original message but without luck so it's not my fault). For anyone that cares what follows is the email with a picture as well as I refuse to post without at least one picture.

"Thank you for your email regarding the Airwick advertisements. We do not have any information regarding advertisements as we are the Consumer Relations department and are not involved in marketing decisions.

I have noted your request for information and have passed details of these comments to the relevant marketing team. Should they wish to disclose this information, they will contact you directly.

Thank you for your enquiry.

Kind Regards


you'll have to click for big on the picture if you care enough. and if I don't hear back after this I can only assume that they don't want to 'disclose' the information which would -obviously- lead me to believe some kind of conspiracy is going on, possibly that the rabbit family are nothing more than a bunch of polygons and don't need a back story at all because people who work in marketing are cold heartless types who would murder their own mother for a percentage increase in sales.

Edit: Sorry if anyone noticed the million edits I did to this post, I managed to mess up the formatting so much without noticing.

Wednesday, 18 February 2009

Bad Parents

I feel somewhat like I'm carrying on from my last post here but I'm not. Anyway, I don't watch much TV so maybe this ad has been around for a while, but an Advert is running for Air Wick (Similar to this one and these) in it a Rabbit explains to the viewer how the Air Wick thing makes her daily life so much easier and slightly less smelly while all around her, her family goes about their daily routine. I can only assume that she is demonstrating her role in the family as well, it just struck me as slightly unbalanced her husband (Boyfriend maybe? I'll have to contact Air Wick on that) spends a lot of his time running around looking after the children, seems like a nice guy for a rabbit parent to be fair, but all the while the Wife/Girlfriend Rabbit (I really should get an answer on which) Sits on her bum explaining the details of her new air freshener. I feel sorry for the kids who get hugged before bed by their Dad (or New Dad?) and then Mummy eventually comes up to read them a story... from the back of the box of a plug in scent.

(Email will be sent to Air Wick regarding the structure of the Rabbit family before the end of this day if I can't find an answer without contacting them so expect an rabbit related update at some point, personally I hope that they have written a great big back story including how one of the kids was adopted and won't know for another few adverts).

Edit: On the Air Wick website here her name is said as Mrs. Rabbit which would suggest she is married, but is that to her current partner or an old husband not yet divorced? hopefully answers are on the way.

Edit 23/2 : Initial responce from air wick, see next post.

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Pokémon related post

I get the feeling that my
Pokémon mum doesn't like me very much at all, when I went to her at the age of about 13-14 and told her of my dream to become a Pokémon master the likes of which Hoenn has never seen all she had to say was pretty much "have some running shoes and get lost" I was expecting her to shoot my dream down and tell me I'm too young to be traveling the world alone with nothing but animals for company, that I should finish my studies before deciding what I want to do with the rest of my life, but no. I think she just wanted me out of the house so that she could drink her self into an early grave without me trying to talk her out of it. Either that or my face reminds her of her dead husband... I didn't mean to kill him, I didn't, please forgive me!

Saturday, 14 February 2009

View while listening to the Jurassic Park theme tune

For some daft reason I when I thought of Lego Jurassic Park I thought of giant Lego men in forests rather than dinosaurs made of Lego.

(click for big on the pic, although to be fair I wouldn't bother, it's not very good sorry).

Friday, 6 February 2009

The Zombie Solution

I'll try to keep this short as its pretty self explanatory, what's the best way of surviving a zombie apocalypse? Become a pirate of cause! Get yourself a ship and sail the oceans occasionally stopping to raid a port to stock up on goods and 'recruit' any survivors you find into your crew.

Now before everyone drops to their knees and praises me as some kind of goddess, the problem came to mind, what if zombies learn to swim? as unlikely as this is I had to think of a solution, luckily just then my copy of Skies of Arcadia (Dreamcast version of cause) slapped me around the back of the head. Flying pirate ships; been supported by giant blimp-y balloons, problem with that was, raiding ports while flying, there are many workable solutions to this my favorite been to have a section of the floor of the ship getting lowered down like an elevator in order for crew to bring new stock on board.

After this I got to thinking about a pirate base in the skies and I got a great solution: "The Great Air Fortress Supertanker!" we steal one of those great big ships that move those giant container things around the world, attach balloons the size of the moon to it and float it somewhere as a safe haven of the skies for all pirates.

(note: the pic isnt to scale those tankers are -huge- also, some of the credit for this post should go to my left4dead buddys for bringing up the topic of how you'd survive if zombies ever took over).

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Bear Eggs

It crossed my mind recently that I haven't been spreading the word about my heritage recently, what heritage you ask? why the fact that I was hatched from a bear egg in the middle of a forest and wondered into the nearest town learning as I went, a lot of people call the day I appeared in town my birthday, when in fact the day I hatched was several months earlier. When I explain the story of my extraordinary birth to people they often say "but Sammy you wonderful person, bears don't lay eggs!" and I have to say, have you ever seen one give birth? that's usually enough to sway them, but with this been the internet I went one step further and got this picture as proof:

Amazing. One thing people never ask however when discussing the fact that I originated from a bear egg is how come I'm not a bear? I'd be more bothered about how I've been wearing the same purple skirt for 20 odd years without it getting too small or dirty personally...

Oh well....

Sunday, 1 February 2009

Doesn't Turtlebrow sound like a beer?

I made this in 30 seconds after reading this story over at One Sentence. I couldn't help but think "Yes... yes they do!"