The Wax Comparison

I watched some awful remake horror film called House of Wax last night because I heard Paris Hilton gets killed in it (She does it was totally worth watching the rest of the film just to see her get a javelin type thing in her head). Towards the end of the film I wasn't paying much attention anymore to be honest, but out of the corner of my eye I noticed the bad guy with long hair using a spoon to fix his damaged wax face and I couldn't help but notice this comparison...



There isn't a huge similarity, but if you needed more of a reason to distrust Michael Jackson, here it is.

Unreal

Every console owner -should- know that Unreal Championship 2 is the best console Unreal, which makes me wonder, where is Unreal Championship 3? So, Epic, take of your gears power armour for a second and make it for me please, oh and don't mess about with it like you did with gears of war 2.

Little known facts about Jesus #1 and #2

Hi children! *waves enthusiastically* This weeks "Little known fact about Jesus" is in fact two facts that are somehow connected and as such are in one post, I would not post to minor pieces of information in separate posts just to up the post count would I?

Now, it's a little known fact about Jesus that he absolutely loved Jelly! All colours and flavours are good, but he goes crazy for Strawberry jelly, his love went so far that his last super was basically just jelly and ice cream, Judas' hate for Jesus has many theories as to it's origin but one of the first reasons that surfaced is that Judas hates jelly, can't stand it, he prefers a nice fruit pie for dessert over jelly.




Now before you crazy kids start shouting "Hey, Jelly wasn't invented in bible times you liar" let me just explain myself, now I could just say, He's Jesus he can eat whatever he wants, but that'd be cheap. So I bring you the second Little known fact about Jesus of the day. Jesus was a time traveller not like the boring doctor who, more like Doc Brown. Now I'm not saying Jesus owned a flying Delorean, wait, that's totally what I'm saying!

I lost my heart to a starship trooper

I re-watched a film I liked years ago recently, Starship Troopers. I still really enjoyed it, but I think with me been slightly older I've noticed a couple of things with the film that really bothered me. Near the start the smart ferret guy does a video clip saying pretty much, to shoot the bug thing in the eye and it'll die straight away "Pretty cool" I said, should make it easy for those space marine guys to kill them all. Skip forwards a bit and Rico and his best buddy's are on some planet somewhere fighting bugs and I notice they arn't dying very easy at all, I just wanted to shout Neil Patrick Harris you liar! Until I noticed that those stupid marine types were shooting from the hip, all that time they spent running around learning how to shoot things and no one taught them to aim. I'm sure in the entire film there was maybe two people who aimed, one of them, was the teacher with a missing arm, problem with that was, he only aimed once and that was when he wanted to shoot his own soldier.



Also, I noticed my undying hatred of Carmen (I think that was her name, I don't have the will to look it up) and I'm just as annoyed now as I was back then that she makes it to the end of the film alive, personally if I had any say in it, I'd use her as practice to explain to the infantry how to aim.

(In case anyone's interested the title is a song of the same name by Sarah Brightman).

Hooby-Petrol

The hoob-y van is out of petrol and Ivor has spent all his Hoob-y money on alcohol again, "How are we going to get about now?!" screams Groove. Just at this moment the phone rings and HubbaHubba's blue face appeared on screen, "It seems you've found the question!" says Tula hiding her face under her pink hand, "Let's answer this quick, Ivor threw up all over my Hoob-y Pasta I wanna get to the shop, I'm fucking hungry!"

Moments later another call, it's Roma "It turns out Hoob-y Petrol isn't made from oil like Peep petrol, but it's made from the processed blood of the Tiddly-Peeps". This truth hurt Tula and Groove but they knew what they had to do, if this carried on much longer, the Motorettes would starve and die. Groove looked down into his own belly as he said "There is one person I can think of who could help us get our Hooby-petrol..."



After Groove's contact arrived with a small container of Tiddly-peep blood to feed the Motorettes it was up to the roof of the van, "I guess we don't have much choice, while our van can still move..." Started Tula, "We're off to see the tiddly-peeps"

(Click for big on the pic).

The Deal With Bill

Following the back story uncovered for the gears of war universe here I've managed to get solid information regarding the past of the main characters of Left 4 Dead, the quiet frankly awesome game by Valve. I'll do this by Character...

Louis

Louis is probably the most normal among the group, there isn't much to say about him I'm afraid other than that he seems to have got rather unlucky following what looked to be the start of a promising career as a Systems analyst (unlucky been the millions of zombies trying to murder his face off). He doesn't seem to know much about the other survivors apart from he'd be dead without their help.

Francis

This is where things start getting weird, this man seems to be something of an understudy to Bill. It's unclear if Francis knows what he is getting himself into but he seems to follow Bills instruction all the same. Before the Zombies he was unemployed, practically homeless and mugging children to afford his next drink.

Zoey

The Student Zoey learning to be a teacher was at a placement at a primary school when it all went wrong. She is the only survivor who knows of Bill's past. At this time I'm not 100% certain if Zoey helped Bill before the Infected arrived or if she just knew, but it is safe to say that she hasn't made a move to out Bill for the terrible things he's done to the rest of the group which leads me to suspect guilt on her part, Although it is possible she is keeping quiet due to a threat or because she believes they benefit from Bill's experience with weapons.

Bill

War veteran Bill (second name suspected to be Carmine) went wrong during his tours in Vietnam, he did some terrible things to under-age boys and girls. He got away with his actions as it was war time, but when he returned to his home following the war, he was lost and found it difficult to fit back into normal society this included finding it difficult to get and keep work, and his lust for children, He met Zoey while he was stalking a young boy at the school she was training at, this much is known but their relationship apart from this is unknown, since the Infected attacked Bill seems to be keeping his secret safe from his fellow survivors (with the exception of Zoey of cause) but His secretive talks with Francis are beginning to worry.

Others

It has been rumoured that Hunters are the Infected resulting from people abused by Bill while they were normal explaining how much more vicious they are (and maybe the leaping considering what Bill likely did to them) as they remember a fractured amount from there old life. A recent rumour has brought up the possibility that Tanks once lived in a pineapple under the sea, and are chasing down the survivors because of Louis' dislike for pineapple, I personally put little faith in this rumour been found true but you never can be sure with how much is known at present.




If any other information comes to light on this I shall update this post...

(also please note this back-story is the combined rantings of 3 drunkards over the space of a month and is not in anyway Valves official story... although to be honest it's probably not far off, I mean, look at Bill, you wouldn't trust him around ya kids right?).

Happy [Holiday Name here]

I'm miserable enough not to get into holidays, but I figured I should hope that everyone enjoys their holiday of choice during the time of cold weather. If that holiday is Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or some other holiday that's escaped my mind, have fun and get very drunk.